By Phill Collins

Take A Look At Me Now

Dedicated to Jiles

How can I just let you walk away,

Just let you leave with out a trace,

When I'm standing here taking every breath,

With you,

You're the only one who really knew me

At all.

How can you just walk away from me,

When all I can do is watch you leave,

Cause we shared the laughter and the pain,

And even shared the tears,

You're the only one who really knew me at all.

So take a look at me now,

There's just an empty space,

There's nothing left here to remind me,

Just the memory of you face,

So take a look at me now,

Coz there's just an empty space,

and you're coming back to me it's against the odds,

And that's what I've gotta face.

I wish I could just make you turn around,

Turn around and see me cry,

There's so much I need to say to you,

So many reasons why,

You're the only one who really knew me at all.

FOR JOSH

There is something about you I can't explain,
You act ok but feel so much pain;
You touched my heart in a way I never thought could have been done,
I was nervous and scared I wanted to jump up and run;
But something pulled me back drew me close to you,
I don't know if it's what you said or say or what you did or do;
But some how I am connected like a lock without a key,
And even if I wanted to I can't seem to break free;
I tell myself you need me and thats why I am here,
Even though when I am around you I feel love and at the same time fear;
Afraid of the mistakes you will make,
Not knowing if you're wearing a mask to be fake;
Scared that I will loose you for good,
Of missing the opportunity to say something I should;
I love you more than I ever thought or even wanted to,
I didn't plan on this closeness to you;
My heart longs for answers it may never find,
Your words I love you replay in my mind;
Do you really is the question I ask,
Stop your anger is that to hard of a task?
Why do you shout why do you yell?
In a home like that I would hate to dwell;
you came into my life and caused an earthquake,
And look at the chaos you continue to make;
Here a tear there a heartache here a mistake there a mess ,
To much pressure on my life , to much hurt, to much stress;
To much weight to much strain,
Like a constant steady rain;
You love me the question is Why?
But for now I say a said sweet goodbye!

In memory of Chris's Grandma Thelma (You are Missed!)

God looked around his garden and found an empty place,
He then looked down upon the earth and saw your tired face;
He put his arm around you and lifted you to rest,
God's garden must be beautiful He only takes the best;
He knew that you were suffering, He knew that you were in pain,
He knew that you would never get well on earth again;
He saw the road was getting rough and the hills were hard to climb,
So He closed your weary eyelids and whispered peace be thine;
It broke our Hearts to loose you but you didn't go alone,
For part of us went with you the day God called you home.

Who Are We? (Written for Jiles)

Who are you? Wait! How can I ask that if I don't know who I am.
You are a reflection of me and I of you, But yet neither of us know who we are.
How could that be? You are my reflection but you anger me, So do I anger myself? Is it possible? Am I really mad at myself when I am mad at you?
Do you disgust me cause I disgust myself? Do I hate your decisions cause I hate my own? Do I despise your ways cause I despise mine? You are a reflection of me.
With all the things I dislike, there's the part I love, The reflection of me that shows I care and love with my all. Like you I am not a quitter.
But I also too occasionally want to give up. Like you I wish to be loved. I desire my favors to be returned. I want to make the world a better place for others to live in along with myself to enjoy the rest of our short lives.

A Minute of Happiness

As we grow up we learn that even the one person that wasn't ever supposed to let you down probably will, You will have your heart broken more than once and it's harder every time, you'll break hearts too so remember how it when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing to fast. And you will eventually loose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt, because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

By: Me

The soul understands what the mind cannot,
The heart remembers what the brain forgot.

By Helen Steiner Rice

We all need words to live by,
To inspire us and guide us,
Words to give us courage
When the trials of life betide us-
And the words that never fail us
Are the words of God above,
Words of comfort and of courage
Filled with wisdom and with love-
They are ageless and enduring ,
They have lived through generations,
There's no question left unanswered
In our Father's revelations-
And in this ever changing world
God's word remains unchanged
For though through countless ages
They've been often re-arranged,
The truth shines through all changes
Just as bright today as when
Our Father made the universe
And breathed His Life in men.

If you could be me for a Moment.......

Dedicated to Jiles (the best guy I ever met)

Sometimes I wish you could step into my shoes for just a little while- to think what I think;to see what I see; to feel what I feel; to understand the confusion, the fear, the admiration and the friendship I feel toward you all at once. If you were able to live inside my mind, even for a moment, you would see that my world is filled with so many responsibilities, yet so often my thoughts are of you. You would see what joy you've brought to my life. You would see how much it means to me to be able to smile, to laugh,to feel good, to feel free, like a child - just because of you.

If you had the chance to take the smallest glimpse inside of me, you would see gratitude and respect - respect not only for what you are making of yourself , but also for what you are helping me to be, and you would see how much all of that means to me.

But the thing that would strike you the most - If you had the chance to be me - would be all the love I feel for you, and once you had felt it, You would always remember it, you would understand that, although I am not always able to express it or to explain its depth or importance to me, It is always there....inside of me.

~Author Unknown~

To see the world in a grain of sand, And heaven in a wildflower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour.
~Wardsworth~

Read This!!

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
The courage to change the one I can,
And the wisdom to know it's me!

Diet

Slim Fast wanna be diet stuff!!

Just one of those days

Today seemed like one of those kinda days where I just stared into space and would get lost in thought and then just want to burst into tears. Have you had one of those days? I hate it when your life seems to just suck and you do something to get your mind off of it and then after you're done having fun you seem to get a wave of depression flooding over you. Kinda like waking from a good dream only to discover that its not real. Dissapointing, I know!

Think about it!

I was sitting here thinking about how fragile life really is.
How blessed I really am to be living, period and that I am healthy
I really have God to thank for that. He has been there for me more
than anyone and after all I have been through and all I have done
He still loves me. That is not excusing the things I have done, because
I will be the first to admit that I have made some pretty stupid choices.
I regret stuff and I have learned alot but one thing I did was hurt the one
person that I never dreamed hurting and whether he knows it or not it hurts
me just as much, and all I can say is that I am really sorry.
I want to tell my best friend Kate that I really love her and I dont know what Id
do without her, Thankyou Kate for everything!!!
I really want to encourage all who read this to really take a good look at your
life are you living the way your supposed to? Life is short!And the Bible says He will come back in the blink of an eye and youll never know. Becareful!

Chocolate

This the first entry I have made on my blog
and I have come to the conclusion that whenever
you are sad, chocalate is the answer to make you feel
better in some way, and takes your mind off the lifes
bitterness!